Family Life as Path to Heaven

While the monastic vocation is excellent, most people are called to work out their salvation through Christian family life, ideally multi-generational family life.

Throughout the history of Christianity, the Church has recognized that there are two main paths to holiness and salvation. While the monastic vocation, with its call to prayer, asceticism, and detachment from worldly distractions, is often highlighted, it is the married vocation that plays a central role in the spiritual formation of the majority of Christians. Marriage and family life, when lived in cooperation with Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, provide the path to Heaven for those who are not called to the celibate life. For those of us who are called to the marriage vocation, or are already married, the married vocation is our God appointed way to holiness and salvation. I want to explore this especially through the lens of multi-generational family life and examine how this dynamic can have a lasting impact on the spiritual journey of families across generations.

The Sacrament of Marriage: A Path to Holiness

Marriage, as a sacrament, has a unique power to sanctify. Marriage mirrors the love of Christ for His Church (Eph. 5:25-33), and it is through this sacrificial love that spouses grow in holiness. The relationship between husband and wife becomes a living icon of the divine love that sanctifies the entire family.

St. John Chrysostom famously called the home a "little Church," a domestic sanctuary where love, patience, and mutual service can lead a couple to holiness. The daily sacrifices that spouses make for each other and their children—caring for one another, supporting each other’s growth, and raising children in the faith—become the very means of sanctification. Marriage, then, is not a mere civil contract but a way of imitating Christ’s love, thereby bringing each spouse closer to God.

St. Augustine, though he held celibacy in high regard, wrote defended the dignity and sanctity of marriage in his De bono conjugali ("On the Good of Marriage") stating that the married couple’s mutual love, the service they render to one another, and their shared commitment to raising children in the faith form the bedrock of Christian society. Augustine believed that marriage, far from being a hindrance to spiritual life, is a beautiful path to holiness when lived in virtue.

The Practical and Spiritual Benefits of Multi-Generational Family Life

One of the greatest spiritual treasures of the married vocation is the opportunity for multi-generational family life. The influence of parents, grandparents, and extended family members on children cannot be overstated. The witness of faith, wisdom, and practical knowledge passed down through generations provides a foundation for future generations to grow in wisdom, holiness, social graces, and practical skills.

St. Basil the Great (d.379), one of the most prominent Fathers of the Church, was born into a noble, wealthy, holy family. He had a remarkable grandmother, St Macrina the Elder, who had studied under St Gregory the Wonder-Worker (who had studied under the eminent theologian, Origen, who had studied under St. Clement of Alexandria...).

St. Basil’s parents were both saints, as well, St. Basil the Elder and St. Emmelia. Under the paternal and maternal care of their parents and grandmother, St. Basil the Great and four of his ten siblings became saints, including St. Macrina the Younger who later became the abbess of a monastery founded on their estate. St. Basil’s parents and grandmother were exemplary in their faith, and their home was a spiritual sanctuary. The martyrdom of St. Basil’s maternal grandfather, the teachings of his father, and the wisdom of his grandmother, who played a central role in his upbringing, highlight the importance of a multi-generational family life steeped in faith.

The Martin family, one of the most beautiful examples from the Latin Catholic tradition, illustrates this generational holiness as well. St. Louis and St. Zelie Martin raised five daughters, one of whom—St. Thérèse of Lisieux—became a beloved saint known for her “little way” of holiness. The Martins' home was a place of prayer, discipline, and love, and the example they set created a foundation for the spiritual formation of their children, most of whom entered religious life. The influence of Louis and Zelie’s holiness extended not only to their children but to the Church as a whole, demonstrating the profound impact that a family rooted in faith can have on the larger Christian community.

The importance of grandparents, in particular, cannot be ignored. In a multi-generational family, pious grandparents can play a pivotal role in the spiritual formation of grandchildren. Their life experiences, wisdom, and deep faith can offer a model of patience, charity, and prayerfulness and profoundly shape the next generation. Historically, grandparents have served as the keepers of tradition, reminding younger family members of the importance of faith, humility, and love.

The point is that, family life which includes both parents and grandparents provides a rich environment for the transmission of Christian values and virtues, ensuring that the faith is handed down across generations.

Multi-generational families offer significant practical as well as spiritual benefits, particularly through shared responsibilities in household duties, financial support, and caregiving. Grandparents can help with childcare, cooking, homeschooling, or managing household chores, while parents in turn care for aging grandparents. This mutual exchange of work not only lightens the load for everyone but fosters a sense of collaboration and unity.

Multi-generational family life does not necessarily mean everyone is living under one roof; each family’s arrangement will be different. Some grandparents may be able to help with childrearing, while others may be able to help pay for Catholic school tuition, etc. By sharing in both the physical and spiritual burdens, multi-generational families create an environment where love and support flourish, providing both practical help and spiritual nourishment.

In a secular world that is hostile to Christian family life, the support and guidance of older generations can strengthen the younger ones, ensuring the continuity of the faith. I realize this is a ‘pipe dream’ for many families in today’s world. Sadly, many young Catholic parents raising children at home do not have the support of their own parents who are either not living the Catholic faith, do not live in the same town, or are so poorly catechized that they cannot be trusted with raising their grandchildren. On the other hand, many young, poorly catechized Catholic parents have been overly influenced by the world and are hostile to the traditional, multi-generational parenting norms that have been the foundation of our Judeo-Catholic tradition for 4,000 years. This is tragic, when the wisdom of the aged has been lost or is shunned by the arrogance of younger generations.

The purpose of this “Way of the Family” project is to work for the restoration of traditional family norms. Pious family life is at the heart of Catholic culture. By bearing both the practical and spiritual burdens together, multi-generational families create a deeper sense of solidarity and holiness, nurturing each member’s journey toward salvation. The fight for Christian family renewal must be rooted in the rediscovery of our great Catholic heritage. [See my recommended reading list for parents.]

Conclusion

While the monastic vocation represents one path to holiness, the way of the family stands as the primary and most accessible means for most Christians to attain sanctification. The married couple’s role in reflecting the love of Christ for His Church and raising children in the faith creates a unique opportunity for sanctification. When marriage is lived with love, sacrifice, and mutual service, it leads to holiness for both spouses, their children, and future generations.

The examples of saints like St. Louis and St. Zelie Martin, St. Basil and St. Macrina’s parents and grandparents, and many others demonstrate the perfectibility of marriage as a means of salvation. Furthermore, the inclusion of grandparents in the family dynamic provides an invaluable link to the wisdom and faith of previous generations, creating a strong foundation for future generations to build upon. In this way, the family—especially a multi-generational one—becomes a true school of holiness and a living testament to God’s love.